And I was all, "Don't be gross, you crustacious fuck. You pull that thing out and I'll pepper-spray you until you fry." (You have to be stern with weenie waggers-- I've been exposed to on the bus over seventeen times, so I know.)

Christopher Moore
About This Quote

This quote is a perfect example of the sense of humor that comes from being a comic. The author was writing about a guy who claimed to be a cop and wanted to get a pat down from one of his fellow passengers. The author said it would be gross to let this guy get a search-and-seizure from him, so he pulled out pepper spray and started spraying the guy. It's a good story, but the guy really wasn't a cop at all.

Source: You Suck

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